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Post by Jaze Avalon on Jul 15, 2010 23:53:59 GMT -5
Truth be told, he didn't know what to expect from the baby. He had only skimmed the baby book Berlin gave to him. As hard as he was trying to show Berlin that he was grown up, he still didn't like reading in the least. It didn't seem like it would be hard to take care of a baby. Feed it, change the diapers. What else was there? At least, that's what it seemed like in his mind. He thought it would be like having a dog- a walk in the park quite literally. And you wonder why he doesn't voice his opinions a lot...
He grumbled something inaudible in response to her, more or less mocking what she said. As soon as she was gone though, he came out of hiding and sighed, staring up at the ceiling with sleepy and annoyed eyes. This was soooo not going the way he thought it would. Jaze wasn't sure how many more nights he could stand like this. It was already taking his toll at work, since he had to go in with bloodshot eyes. Made it hard to charm the money out of ladies' pockets for drinks. Shhh don't tell Berlin that though.
Rubbing his eyes, he strained to hear sounds from the rest of the apartment for any clue as to wear Berlin was. He could just barely pick up the sounds of a TV. With that knowledge in hand, he slowly got up and tip toed quietly to the bathroom. Pee time. That and he was hoping to find something to get him back to sleep. With no luck on the meds, he quietly padded along to the kitchen in hopes of procuring a glass of water without annoying the hormonal dragon he referred to fondly as Berlin.
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Post by Berlin Dice on Jul 16, 2010 19:22:36 GMT -5
Ber heard Jaze moving around and sighed softly. She remained on the sofa until she seen him heading to the kitchen. She got up and returned to the nursery, laying the sleeping baby in her crib before slipping back out and heading to the kitchen. She hadn't expected things to go like this - she hadn't pictured them arguing about their daughter. She knew it was a big step and a big change for them but she thought they could do this..
Berlin leaned against the little kitchen table and watched Jaze in silence for a moment, her eyes narrowed. "You can't do this, can you?" she asked, though it wasn't a real question. She knew the answer. "Just.. go. This isn't what you want. You resent her, you resent me.. You don't have to stay." she said softly, finally admitting her defeat in the situation they were in. She didn't want him to go, of course. She was, well, she was in love with him. But watching him slowly hate his was too hard.
Ber watched him a moment longer before slowly turning and heading back to her bedroom, climbing in to bed and curling up in the bed, pulling one of her pillows to her front and hugging it, watching the alarm clock on her nightstand as it displayed in little red letters what time it was. She closed her eyes for a moment and sighed deeply. She wondered what London would have to say if Jaze accepted that solution..
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Post by Jaze Avalon on Jul 16, 2010 21:14:04 GMT -5
He expected almost anything but what she said. For her to yell at him, bite his head off, anything but try and get rid of him. Where would he even go? He can't go home obviously. And he doubted London would appreciate him coming to crash at his house after abandoning Ber... Yeah, that would go over just peachy. Not.
Jaze sighed and sipped his water slowly, staying in the kitchen for a moment. He was there for a few minutes before he put the glass in the sink and padded his way back to the bedroom. Hesitating in the doorway, he watched her form on the bed. "I don't resent either of you Ber... I just don't know how the hell to handle her. Nothing I do works..." He sighed and leaned against the door frame, arms crossed. "Do you really want me to go...?" Jaze frowned, not sure what he would do if she said yes. Pack and go... where? Sigh, he didn't want to go back to that.
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Post by Berlin Dice on Jul 16, 2010 21:43:08 GMT -5
Ber turned on to her back, looking over to the door and sighing though her nose. "No. I don't want you to go, Jaze. Of course I don't. I just.. I know this isn't what you want to be doing. And we need to learn how to care for her but you don't seem to want to learn." she said quietly, moving to sit up on the bed, her back against the headboard. She didn't want to lose him. She really cared about him. But she wouldn't make him do something he didn't want to. Though she was wondering if he was staying because he didn't want to be homeless once more, more than anything.
After a moment of fiddling with her comforter she looked back up to Jaze. "Tell me what you want. Do you want to be part of this? Do you want to learn? Or.. is this too much? Just tell me Jaze. Tell me the truth or neither me nor her will ever respect you. So say it." she said and nodded, looking up. She didn't sound anything other than curious and maybe a little sad. But she was set and she wasn't about to let her heart break for someone who didn't even want it..
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Post by Jaze Avalon on Jul 16, 2010 21:52:03 GMT -5
Jaze sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Of course I wanna learn... I helped make her and all." He mumbled and watched her for a few moments. He carefully moved and sat on the end of the bed, fiddling with a loose thread on the pajamas he was wearing.
After a moment of silence, he sighed and bit his lip. "I don't wanna lose what I have... I like having a steady place and all. I like having you here with me... I'm just scared that I'm going to mess up big time with Sunny. That I won't be the dad that you want me to be with her." There. The truth. He managed to get it out.
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Post by Berlin Dice on Jul 18, 2010 15:43:27 GMT -5
Ber watched him as he sat on the bed, listening closely as he spoke. Though she shook her head slightly, "You're already being the dad I want for her. I just want you to be there for her, be there.. for me.." she said softly. "You can't mess that up. You just need to stop treating this like it's a test, like you're on some kind of course. You need to just.. roll with it. She's here, we're here.. We just do what we can." Ber said and sighed. She moved her hands up, pushing her hair back and then clasping her fingers together behind her neck.
She didn't know how to make this easier for them. She was just doing what she felt. She didn't worry about being a perfect mother, she wasn't neurotic about when Sunny cried. She knew babies cried and she knew after a few moments she'd work out why the girl was crying - she also knew she'd cry for no reason and those times she'd just need to try and soothe her to sleep. But she wasn't like Jaze, she didn't worry about how he expected her to be with the baby. But she still didn't know how to tell Jaze he didn't need to worry about her when it came to their daughter. Hm.
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Post by Jaze Avalon on Jul 23, 2010 0:23:14 GMT -5
Jaze listened to her as she spoke, staring at his knees. He heard what she was saying but he still wasn't sure he believed it. How could he already be the good father when he hasn't done much right since the baby was born. He sighed and rubbed his face with both hands, slightly frustrated with everything. "I just want to know what to do... I didn't read the books... I have no idea how to take care of her." He frowned, hoping that Berlin wouldn't rip his head off because he hadn't read the book.
He leaned back till he laid on the bed, legs hanging over still and staring up at the ceiling. "Why is it so hard..." He mumbled, not particularly expecting an answer. Hesitating, he rolled onto his side and looked at her, his eyes still fairly sleepy. "Do you think it's safe to go back to sleep?" Jaze mumbled slightly, just wanting to curl up with her under the cover and sleep for ten hours.
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Post by Berlin Dice on Jul 26, 2010 19:15:50 GMT -5
She wasn't at all surprised when he told her he hadn't read the book. She tilted her head when he spoke of his concerns though. "No one knows how to do this, not right away. It's something you learn as you go." she said softly and sighed deeply. She didn't know what else to tell him, she didn't know all the answers. She just knew they'd need each other to get though this.
When Jaze said how hard it was, Berlin shrugged. "No one said it would be easy." she said softly. Though she nodded when he asked about going to bed. "Yeah. Come on." she murmured, shifting herself back on to her own side and pulling the covers back for him to get in.
Ber had no idea what they were going to do about this and knew that not ten nor a hundred hours sleep would let them wake with the answers.
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Post by Jaze Avalon on Jul 26, 2010 22:16:57 GMT -5
Jaze, tired and just worn, moved across the bed and climbed under the cover with her. He hesitated before moving against her, holding her tightly against his body. He sighed and laid there in silence before kissing her cheek. "Ber... I... love you." He whispered, swallowing hard. He was pretty sure that was what he was feeling... It was something he's never felt before. If Sunny hadn't come alone, he's not sure if he would have found the way to settle down.
Settling in for sleep, he let himself drift off slowly. It took a moment but the last few days and nights have had its hold. He slept pretty deeply but not for ten hours, as much as he'd like. He'd only slept for two or so more hours before he dragged himself out of bed. Jaze went to the bathroom, trying to stay quiet. After his business was done, he quietly padded his way to Sunny's room to check up on her. Sighing, he leaned on the side of the crib, watching the little girl sleep.
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Post by Berlin Dice on Jul 27, 2010 12:14:58 GMT -5
---
And so Berlin and Jaze kept on with their crazy baby routine. Though they tried to communicate more about the situation, both of them already aware how tough things were without them not talking about it. Though today was different. Ber had gotten up at her usually early hour, leaving Jaze to sleep a little longer as she went about bathing Sunny and getting her fed and what not.
Once Ber had the baby dressed and fed she took her through to the bedroom, climbing on to the bed beside Jaze, smirking a little and moving up so she could set Sunny on his chest, keeping her hand on the babies back. "Say 'wake up daddy!'" she said to Sunny with a grin, though the tiny girl just blinked and looked at Jaze, wiggling lightly and so Ber did it for her. She leaned down and kissed Jaze's cheek. "Wake up daddy. Sunny wants hugs." she told the sleeping man. Though little did she know that when Jaze wake from his slumber he would not be joining her and the baby as they went to visit London. No. She did not knowing about his meeting with his "cousin"..
XXX
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Post by Jaze Avalon on Jul 27, 2010 20:08:05 GMT -5
Jaze had no idea about her plans to visit London. His cousin was coming to visit the States for a few weeks and he hadn't seen her since they were both still potty training. They were the same age, born a few months apart. Though she was a cousin on his mom's side, her name being Claire Piers.
He hadn't felt her leave the bed at first, just sleeping on. It wasn't until Berlin plopped Sunny onto his chest that he grunted. He peeked an eye open to look up at Ber and Sunny, yawning widely. "She gets enough hugs as it is..." Jaze mumbled sleepily, only joking though. Carefully, he reached up to support Sunny on his chest, pulling her down to kiss her nose. "Morning Sunny-bun. You smell clean for once. Mum give you a bath?" He raised his eyes and looked up at Ber, frowning slightly. "What's the occasion?"
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Post by Berlin Dice on Jul 27, 2010 20:25:41 GMT -5
Ber moved on to her side, supporting her head with one hand as she watched Jaze and Sunny. "We're going to go see uncle London, aren't we cutie pie?" she said, aiming the last part at Sunny before looking to Jaze, moving a hand to play with his hair. "So you should totally get up and go get ready." she said with a smile, watching Sunny wave her tiny un-co-ordinated fists at Jaze.
Ber couldn't ever keep herself from grinning when she seen those two together, it made all the issues in her life and in her head seem to melt away. She loved it. Though after a few moments she sat back up, lifting the baby from Jazes chest and cradling her to her own so Jaze could get up and go get ready.
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Post by Jaze Avalon on Jul 27, 2010 21:08:39 GMT -5
Jaze frowned slightly and sat up, running a hand through his hair. "We... are? Ber, I had no idea. My cousin is coming to town and I kinda made plans..." He bit his lip, wincing. Crap, he knew he had a bad memory but this time someone might actually kill him for it. "I haven't seen her since we were like... four. She lives in Italy, so the airfare is like... enormous and she's only here for a week..." He sighed and watched her, pouting slightly.
He turned onto his side, leaning over to kiss her cheek. "I'll make it up to you, I promise... She'll love Sunny and you..." Jaze watched her, biting his lip nervously.
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Post by Berlin Dice on Jul 27, 2010 21:14:21 GMT -5
Ber frowned lightly for a moment then nodded. "Oh, well sure. Okay. Well, I already said I'd go see London, so I'll see you later?" she said and leaned closer so she could kiss his lips for a moment before climbing off the bed with Sunny. Ber wasn't upset, not really, it's just true she hadn't mentioned going to Londons but Jaze hadn't mentioned his cousin flying all the way over here either, had he? Hm. Though she let it go for now and collected her purse and the diaper bag before going to see Jaze again. "Remember, I have my cell." she said and nodded with a small smile before she kissed him again once more, letting him say bye to the baby before she headed out and over to her brothers place. So she could whine about Jaze being out with some random girl "cousin".
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Post by Jaze Avalon on Jul 27, 2010 21:41:41 GMT -5
Jaze was relieved she took it... well. He kissed her as she left, smiling as he watched them leave. He sighed once the door closed and went about getting dressed and ready to meet Claire. It wasn't long until he was at the cafe where he sat waiting for her.
"Jaze!" He had heard her squeal as soon as she'd seen him. He raised his eyebrows, shocked to see how much she's changed in these eighteen or so years. He stood and hugged her, happy. They spent some hours there, catching up. Then he had the idea of inviting her over for dinner to meet Ber and Sunny.
So that was how they ended up at his and Ber's place, Chinese takeout in the kitchen as they waited for Ber to get home. Jaze had texted, letting her know that he got dinner and all. For now, Clair and him were on the couch. She was describing Italy to him, while he made stupid jokes and probed her about the food there. Her legs were slung over his lap as they talked, and he just let his hands rest there on his legs.
Claire xxx
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